Dish With China

A Temporary Lull

2008-10-19T10:56:00.002-04:00

I wanted to pop in this morning to explain my absence. My personal family concerns are the priority right now. I want to thank those of you who have been kind enough to acknowledge my posts with comments or awards. I am simply unable to respond at this time.

I love writing my blog as a personal journal and I usually find it to be very relaxing. Over the last couple of months, I have started to write blogs on various subjects only to leave them as unfinished drafts. I have pictures in the camera that I don't have to time to prepare for posting. The reasons are numerous. My father has been going between the nursing home and hospitals for months and may now be facing dialysis. My mom relies on me for support through this. My brother-in-law is facing serious surgery on Tues. We have been helping him get his affairs in order and preparing for him to convalesce in our home should he survive. He is also preparing to move to another state and dispose of a life time of posessions from the family home before selling it. My children have moved back home while they continue to pursue higher education. I am also resuming duties with a local community organization. As you can see, I have my hands full. I am not complaining. I am grateful for the wonderful life that I have and I do find joy in being needed. I hope that after everything I have been through and all of the support that I have received during times of trial, that I will be able to repay some of that debt. I hope that I will be strong physically and emotional to meet the needs of those around me. Wish me luck.

Thanks again and perhaps I will be able to return one of these days.

Ohio’s First Hurricane: A Survivor’s Diary

2008-09-21T17:22:00.007-04:00

I lived in Florida for two years without experiencing a hurricane. In Ohio, we often get some of the left over rain from hurricanes as the weather patterns move north from the Gulf of Mexico but by the time they reach us, they are garden variety thunderstorms or just a lot of rain. It is absolutely unprecedented that we here in Ohio would experience many hours of high wind that was often equal in strength to a category one hurricane. Northern Ohio did get a lot of rain along with the wind but I live in southwestern Ohio. While we didn’t get much rain, we got the brunt of the devastation from high winds. While several states were hit by this same storm pattern, it was confirmed by an official on C-Span this week that we had the most people without power. This was the most frightening storm I have ever been through. I remember the F-5 Xenia tornado of 1974 and the blizzard of 1978. The Xenia tornado was catastrophic but the damage was in a more confined area. In the blizzard, we didn’t lose power. In this storm, the damage was much more widely spread and affected 84 of Ohio’s 88 counties. Both the amount of affected area and the level of damage from this high wind storm were completely unexpected. Since this blog is a personal journal, I am posting some of my notes about the storm as a diary of the events of the last week.

Sunday, September 15th, 2008

I heard on the morning news that we were under a high wind warning. I live on a heavily wooded property with many large trees and I can see the wind whipping through the branches. I prepare by going outside and lowering the umbrellas on the patio furniture. As I cleaned house in the morning, I took some trash out to the bins outside and made sure they were weighted down and moved next to the house to prevent them from blowing over. That was really all I could do. As the storm progresses we are increasingly concerned that something will fall on the house and call our son down to the basement from his room in the upstairs of the house. I have never seen the wind this severe or this prolonged. I check the news for information on how long the storm will last. I am dismayed to learn that it will not likely be over until the early evening. We watched a football game on television and were disappointed with the results. We go about our business but we keep watch on the yard and the sky and hope the trees don’t fall. We soon learn that some very large trees fall in our back yard and do some damage to fencing. Thankfully, our cars, barn, house and other outbuildings survive. I check the neighbors. They are fine. None of our trees fell across the road so traffic is getting through. Just before four in the afternoon, the power goes out. We check our supplies. We are in pretty good shape. We have bottled water, flashlights, batteries, radio, food, clean laundry, more than a week’s worth of our prescription medicines, a gas generator and a supply of gasoline to run it. I decide to make a second check on the neighbors and make a run to the grocery to add to our water supply because we are on a well system that requires power to pump the water in to the house. That’s when I learn how bad the storm is. None of the stores I call are open. There are no traffic lights. There is no power anywhere. It isn’t just our outlying, rural area that has lines down. I call relatives in two different counties to check on them after the storm. They are without power, also. The radio tells us that large areas of Cincinnati, Dayton, Springfield, and Columbus are without electrical power. It is everywhere. We realize that we might be without power for more than a few hours. It will probably be tomorrow before we get the lights back on. We fire up the gas generator to run the refrigerator, a lamp and a television set. We have a rabbit ear style antenna to connect to the television. We get only local channels with a poor quality signal. It seems that the cable system is also out. With no cable, we also have no VOIP telephone service and no internet. We do have cell phones and an old fashioned phone that we can plug in and get some phone service. Our modern wireless phones are useless.

We salvage dinner, though. We had a roast in the crock pot. We put the roast and veggies in the oven roasting pan and fire up the gas grill. It works great as an emergency oven! We think we might not get power back till late tonight or early tomorrow. A physician I know is worried that his office will be without power. This could affect the very costly supply of vaccines that are stored there. He called the office and knew they were ok when the answering machine picked up the call.

Monday, Sept. 16th, 2008

No power yet. The newspaper comes in a thin, special edition. The banner has the names of five area newspapers that serve a multi-county region. They explain that their operations have been severely impacted so they just will just put out one smaller, universal edition.

My daughter doesn’t go to her job in a large shopping area in a nearby community. They call and tell her to stay home because they have no power. Schools, most universities and many businesses are closed. The radio stations read the lists out loud, just like the old days because most people can’t watch T.V. or check the internet.

I have been planning on attending a very important meeting today. After an absence of several years, I have decided to rejoin an important women’s group in my community. After a personal tragedy in our lives that occurred some years ago, I had withdrawn from many community interactions. My kids are older and are no longer involved in the schools or in sports. I need to reconnect. This meeting is the first meeting of the year. After so long of an absence, and after losing a significant amount of weight, I am concerned about the reaction I am going to get when I show up. I am afraid that people will not remember me. I am afraid that I will not remember some of their names and will find it awkward and embarrassing. I want to look my best. I want to step back into my life and the world. I am not going to let this storm stop me. I have to wash up with a quick sponge bath in cold water. I don’t try to put a lot of make-up on in bathroom lit by flashlight and a little sun from the window. Just as I am about to leave for the meeting, I get a phone call on the old fashioned phone that still works to tell me that the meeting has been changed to a new location that still has power. If I didn’t have that old phone, I would have missed the call and the meeting. This is significant because the interaction with the group went well and it is almost like I never left. Last year, I went to one meeting. It was rained out and I was the only one who showed up. I didn’t go again. I am suddenly assistant treasurer and involved again. There were only a few people at the meeting that didn’t know me and they must surely wonder who I am that everyone else knows me and is ready to just hand me a job. I chuckle about that privately.

The rest of the day is spent dealing with the power outage. I wind up our grandfather clock so we will have a reliable time keeper. The local gas station is open and has become the community hub for news and information. I am filling up my car and my gas containers to run my generator. Because we live on a farm, we actually have our own large, above ground gas tank. It doesn’t work because it has an electric motor that pumps the gas. I see others at the station doing the same thing. There are rumors that there have been runs on gas stations due to fears of a limited supply. I see a neighbor and she says she is looking for supplies of bottled water. The gas station is out of bottled water. I go to the local grocery store that is now open again and buy more. By some miracle, the local McDonald’s is open again. The business area of the local village seems to have been reconnected. The line is very long but I decide that I am desperate for a cup of coffee. While I am waiting in the drive through line, I get a call on my cell phone. It is the power company. They want to know if my power is back on. It is a follow-up call from the automated reporting system. I say no, the power is not on. The person says it is scheduled to be on shortly. I tell them I will go home and check but I don’t think it is on. I leave the line at McDonald’s without getting coffee only to go home and find out that there is no power on at the house.

In a different community, we find a pizza place open and go get dinner. Only the drive through is open, the dining room is closed. One hazard in traveling is the fact that so many traffic lights are out, including major intersections. They must be treated like a four way stop. It is frightening and requires focus so that you don’t go through a non-functioning light without stopping. People are calm and seem to handling it smoothly.

Water is an issue. Flushing the toilet becomes a luxury. We take a bucket to the pond and fill it up so we can continue to flush a couple of times a day. There a few pockets that do still have power. Our children go to shower at the homes of friends. We end the day by driving 30 minutes to my mother’s house. Her side of the street does have power. We take quick showers because they are under water restrictions there. The pumping stations for the water tanks still have some power outages. Back at home, in the dark, the radio station is doing a special report. They give out information to help people locate supplies, take appropriate and safe actions, and report on closings. They take calls from people through out the region who report on conditions in their areas. It is as if we are all sitting around a campfire and telling ghost stories in the dark.

At about 1:00 a. m., an alarm goes off full blast. It is our house alarm telling us that the back-up battery is out of juice. We have been without power for over 24 hours. We have to call the company to find out how to disconnect the system.

Tuesday, September 17th, 2008

The paper continues its special format. It is interesting that the reports on the number of customers with out power around the state jumps so widely. It has gone from 300,000 to 2,000,000. The governor finally decides to tour the area. Some communities are asking for assistance. The price of gasoline is 50 to 60 cents higher than last week. People are mobbing the ice delivery people the minute they show up. Finally, it is announced that local fire stations will provide water to any anyone who wants it but you have to bring your own containers. As a camper, I am ready to do just that.

This morning, I make coffee at home thanks to our generator that we run four hours on, four hours off. I have a dentist appointment to replace a temporary crown with the real deal. It didn’t fit right when it first came back and needed adjustment. Thankfully, the dentist has power now. I am even more thankful that the nursing home my dad is in got power back today. They had generators but it wasn’t the most convenient situation. I am able to heat water on the gas grill side burner very easily. I can take a warm sponge bath and heat water to wash the dishes from the dinner we cooked on Sunday. We have plenty of camping equipment to cook on fires, or camp stoves and set up a dishwashing area so it is really no problem. It is just time consuming. Schools are opening but they are all on a two hour delay. I think it must surely be because it takes so long to get anything done without electricity that people just need more time to get ready! I am grateful that the weather is holding steady. The day time temperature is around 80 degrees. The night time is in the 50’s. The humidity isn’t bad. This makes things much easier on us than on people in the gulf coast region who also had storm surges to deal with. I went to another grocery store today. The butcher shop section of the meat department was completely cleaned out and closed. The regular meat department was well stocked so I bought steak and we grilled out. As I look around and see the power coming back to areas near us, I imagine that we will have power back by tomorrow. I still find that I go to turn light switches on when I enter a dark room. Old habits die hard. One problem we finally solved was running an extension cord to the basement to plug in to the washing machine. Our machine is a front loader that locks the door when in operation. Without power, we can’t unlock it! There is load of wash that my daughter started that we have been unable to retrieve. The smell is most unpleasant but we are able to pump the water out and my daughter takes the load to my mother’s house. She washes them there because she has to work the next day. She spends the night with my mom.

Wednesday, September 18th, 2008

While driving around today, I am dismayed to find that there are still traffic signals out at busy intersections. I see why it is taking so long to get the power back on. There are still trees down on power lines. There are downed lines in several places that I pass and even a major road is still closed because of it. I hear that power crews are being brought in from other states to help. Our state had sent some to help out with Ike’s damage in Texas and they are being recalled. It occurs to me that I haven’t seen a single truck from a utility company at all. During the day, I try to keep the house picked up. I don’t run the sweeper and it is hard to sweep the kitchen because of the conglomeration of power cords that my husband has hooked up to the generator. Even though it is outside, we still get some fumes in the house. My forearms are sore from carrying heavy buckets of water from the creek to flush the toilets. Last night was colder, maybe in the forties. We needed an extra blanket. Even though I can wash up with warm water in the morning, the bathroom is pretty cold. I am thinking about the pioneers and people of an earlier generation. John Adams is said to have remarked about how the people in the city wash a lot more often than people in the country. I see why it is problematic. Even when I can heat the water, I worry about tripping with a pan of hot water as I go up steps into the house and over power cords on the floor in a relatively dark house! It is also time consuming. I am grateful for hand sanitizer. I remember my grandmother having the habit of making supper at 4:30 which always seemed so early to me. She was born in 1901 on a farm in rural Appalachia. This woman, who later completed a master’s degree, started life as the daughter of an itinerant preacher and farmer. I think she cooked dinner so early because they wanted to get the cooking and clean-up done while they still had some natural light and the habit stuck. It is just a theory mind you. We shower at Mom’s again. We go out to dinner at a large shopping area that is now back in business.

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

At 5:00 a.m. the power comes on! Eureka!! I jump up to shut off extraneous lights that may have been left on and close the doors to the extra refrigerator in the basement. It was empty and I left the doors open to keep it from mildewing. Before I can complete the task, the power goes out again. It is such a let down. Surely this means that power will be back on today. My husband has to tinker with the generator. It is an older one and required a sparkplug to be replaced. I was secretly glad that he had trouble getting it to start. It takes me twenty tries when pulling the start cord to be successful to his one or two tries. Serves him right! We continue to clean up debris around the yard and wait for the tree removal company to come and give us an estimate. They tell us they have to take care of the trees that have fallen or are about to fall on houses first. We line up estimates for fence repairs.

At 7:55 p.m. we get our power back! We begin clean-up operations immediately. We remove the extension cords from the house and shut off the generator. We start washing some laundry after I run a cycle of bleach and water to clean out the machine first. I run the dishwasher. I take a shower. I find that I have to remember to turn lights on when I enter a room instead of just roaming around in the dark. New habits die hard, too. Ha!

Friday, September 19th, 2008

Friday, a Fed-Ex package that we have been waiting on pins and needles for finally arrived. It originated in Huston, Texas. It was supposed to have been over nighted from there last Thursday in advance of Hurricane Ike. The package never made it out of the local store. People were busy evacuating in fear of their lives. We were supposed to have been given a tracking number but we didn’t hear back from the sender. He was too busy evacuating as well. Fed-Ex reported severe delays involving the Ike affected region. After the storm hit us, we didn’t have power or internet to check on it anyway. This was a huge burden that was lifted off us. As I drove home today from running an errand, I am waiting on the cross street to get through a major intersection that still doesn’t have a working traffic light. It crosses a state highway. It is my turn to go but I wait because some fool talking on his cell phone goes through the intersection without even slowing down. He was supposed to stop and treat it like a stop sign. There are still many such intersections in the region in high traffic areas. The paper today had and article about the stress that people are under because of the power outage. I did find that when I was waiting in line at the post office, that I had to work extra hard to be calm and patient while waiting in line. I realized that things were starting to get to me. God must have known that my fuse was getting short.

Saturday, September 20th, 2008

The newspaper is finally back to normal. Most people have power. My poor brother-in- law still does not. I have offered to let him come here to do laundry and shower. I am concerned about him. He doesn’t have a wife or kids of his own. He lives by himself. I will be going to Ohio State with him on Monday. He is facing a very serious heart operation that the doctors at a large and well thought of hospital in our area were afraid to do even after consulting with other specialists in our area. He needs the operation to live but it may prove too risky. The researchers at Ohio State will give him a second opinion.

We continue to work on the sizeable clean up of downed trees. The tree guy still did not show up. It is no use to call him. He will get to us when he gets to us. I want to use a company that I have dealt with before and not some fly-by-night operation that doesn’t know what they are doing. When you are talking about the kind of damage to very large trees that we have on our property, you need to deal with the right people. It will take a while for the clean-up and repairs to be completed. Meanwhile gas has come down by 20 cents per gallon. It is still 30 cents higher than it was.

The paper has reported on the shelters that are opening for people to shower and get hot meals. There are still pockets without power. People on food stamps need to get replacement stamps because they were without power so long that there existing food supplies spoiled; just another consequence of the storm of “08.

I am glad that were prepared because the level of damage caused by this storm and the length of recovery were completely unexpected. We don’t have it anywhere near as bad as the folks in Huston or Galveston. I talked to someone in Huston who had to drive eighty miles to find gas to run his generator. We don’t have the water damage from rain and flooding or the mold problems either. I think we did ok.

Sunday, September 21st, 2008

My brother-in-law just got power back this afternoon. I was there helping clean up some of the massive yard damage because the city will come to pick it up if it is out to the curb by Monday. Others are there helping. While living a week in the dark by himself, he managed to look in on an elderly neighbor lady as well. We can hear the neighbors shouting when the power comes back on. We shout “thank-you” to members of the utility crews working in our area. They smile and wave back.
By tomorrow most people will have power back. The clean-up goes on.

I Remember

2008-09-11T08:40:00.006-04:00

A Wedding In The Family

2008-09-06T20:50:00.016-04:00

Good morning! My mid-life adventures have continued throughout the summer. I have wanted to share a brief recounting of the highlight of our summer for awhile but other issues have kept me from having enough time to write. Our niece was married last month in Cleveland, Ohio. You would think it would be hot and humid up by Lake Erie in August but by some serendipity, we had days as cool, dry, and gorgeous as the bride herself. Of course, no wedding comes off without a little drama. Oh, it had NOTHING to do with my niece! She was calm, organized and lovely to everyone.

The short version is simply that due to my father’s declining health and a recent lengthy hospitalization, it seemed unlikely that he or my mother would be able to make the four hour drive to Cleveland. The doctors gave my dad some quality of life vs. quantity of life kind of mercy and agreed to let him out of the hospital without going against medical advice. As it was, they made him wait all day on the day before the wedding in order to receive some treatment as a condition of his release. Finally, my mother called, paraphrasing NASA, to say that the “eagle has flown.” They were finally on their way.

The rest of the family drove to Cleveland much earlier in the day. We kept in touch by phone and waited for them to arrive, crossing our fingers that our gamble would pay off without serious consequence. In the mean time, we were busy checking in and greeting many family and friends who were all staying at the same hotel. We passed a pleasant evening as we walked around Cleveland's down town together. The bridal party attended the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner. Almost all of the rest of us, by coincidence, had dinner at the same restaurant where the rehearsal dinner was to take place in a private room. Memorable moment: My sister in law crouching down in a restaurant booth so she wouldn't be recognized! She was afraid they would think we were crashing the party! We all joked about it and tried to slip out unnoticed only to run in to my brother, the bride’s father, on the way in.

Not long after we returned to the hotel, I got a call to say that my parents were about to arrive at the hotel. You can not imagine the scene on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. A host of family and friends were there to greet the late arrivals. In short order we covered the tips for the bell captain and the valet, helped unload the cars and assisted the senior members of the party with their walkers, check-in and obtaining their gift bags from the bride. Many hands make light work. Memorable moment: I will never forget seeing my father, who almost never cries, break down in tears when we opened the car door. He made it alive to Cleveland to see his granddaughter’s wedding. It is likely the only grandchild’s wedding that he will be alive to see and he knows it.

The day began early for the bride and her attendants. She hired a limo for the entire day. They took the bridal party from the hotel to have their hair, nails and make-up done in the morning.

The next stop for the limo dropped them off at another downtown hotel. My mother had arranged for a luncheon for the bride's maids. The table was on a 5th floor outdoor patio with a garden. It was lovely. Originally, I wasn't supposed to go but my sister and I filled in as hostesses for our mother, who stayed with our dad. My brother, who is a regular care giver for my parents, took off to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame therefore, my husband stayed with my parents. My mother later confided with a laugh that my husband kept them "safe and warm" in addition to keeping them company.

After the luncheon, the bride's maids were driven back to the hotel where we all stayed to dress for the main event. My sister and I walked the block and a half back to the hotel in the bright, fresh air. I love walking in downtowns. I think this is why modern mall developers are going back to the outdoor mall style that recreates the feeling of a downtown that are all the rage here.

Oh, and remember that limo? The bride arranged for the limo to take all of the grandparents from the hotel to the wedding, and on to the reception in between carrying the bridal party. I told you she was organized!

The wedding was held in a very old historic church in downtown Cleveland. The link shows some marvelous pictures of the inside of the church: http://www.oldstonechurch.org/photo_album.htm

The ceremony was very moving. The groom sang “I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman for everyone. Then, his mother sang “Grow Old Along With Me” by John Lennon after lighting the unity candle.

My father cried out of joy to be alive and living to see a grandchild get married. We all cried after that. I have given up telling myself that I won't cry at weddings.

The reception was held at a private club downtown not far from the church. The guests were welcomed to the club by a charming gentleman who took great pride in sharing the history of the building and its impressive architecture and art collection. We began with cocktails and hors d’oerderves on the first floor. Everyone had a color coded name tag on a table in the main hall. This tag determined your seating assignment and told the wait staff whether you were having Flounder Florentine or Chicken Parmegiana. (The food was excellent!) We later went walked up the most amazing stair case to the third floor. The ballroom had a modern dance floor with small white lights imbedded. It was like dancing on stars. The DJ was an entertainer. He led the crowd in a variety of country line dances. I kept hoping that the floor of this lovely older building had been reinforced because many of these dances involve hopping up and down. I had visions of the floor collapsing!

The bride and groom made some interesting choices for the reception. They selected a cake made of cup cakes stacked in the shape of a wedding cake. These weren't just any old cupcakes. They were garnished with gourmet chocolates and a variety of fancy flavored icings. They were art by themselves.

They also hired a photo booth for the reception like the ones at a mall where you can get your picture taken for a few coins. The booth operator brought a lot silly costumes pieces. All of the wedding guests had their pictures made and pasted the strip of pictures from the booth on pieces of paper along with written comments for the bride and groom. Even my parents got in to the act. The operator had to lower the camera angle to get a picture of my dad in the wheel chair with my mom. My mother stood behind him in her long formal gown clutching her walker. Her pink cowboy hat and her feather boa donned for the picture made it one for the ages. My dad chose a pink striped funny hat for his comic moment of glory.

I am proud of the fact that we danced like no one was watching, I joked to my sister-in- law that I hoped none of the pictures wound up on YouTube. Naturally, she sent me some of the pictures with “Coming To YouTube Soon” in the memo line. Let’s just say they were less than flattering LOL. I am also proud of the fact that the bride’s side won BOTH the garter and the bouquet. Bride’s side RULES! Ha ha. At a brunch on the morning after the wedding, we continued our joyous celebration of family and friends. Memorable moment: my daughter, wearing a commando style headband made from the left over scraps of her dress hem (thought we’d need it to make matching ribbons but didn’t).

If I had to pick the best part of the whole wedding it would be this. The bride and groom are two very lovely, faith filled, caring people who are well suited to one another. If I had to bet on a marriage that will last the way my parents’ marriage has, it will be theirs. The minister performing the service commented that marriage was given to us for the benefit of the couple, for society and for the bringing of children in to the world. These two understand that. Amen.

Ha! Made Ya Look!

2008-08-19T10:29:00.008-04:00

Hi Gang. Just me here with my morning coffee. Yesterday, I was experimenting with publishing a slideshow of my favorite photographs as an additional gadget to my blog. I am strictly an amatuer photographer or, as I told one of you, basically I am just a fool with a camera. I have mastered the concept of point and click. After experimenting with different methods of uploading the slideshow and having some success, I ultimately withdrew the entry because I wasn't satisfied with the results. Unfortunately, that caused me to appear in various ways as having posted a new blog. Sorry about that.

I am going to just post pictures from my life from time to time. These aren't prize winning photographs by any means but they show what interests me and how I see the world. Meet Bill.

Sometime, I will tell you about the time he licked the polar bear's behind. Click the picture so you can see the look on his face!

I did however add a new link to my "Interesting Links" block. Check them out.

Come All Ye Fair and Tender Boomers

2008-08-06T14:22:00.007-04:00

With apologies to folk singers everywhere, I invite my fellow Baby Boomers and anyone else who tries not to laugh when you hear that fifty is the new thirty or that gray is the new blonde to join me for tea or coffee. So far, fifty is way better than thirty so I am fairly sure that notion is the creation of some younger marketing strategist trying to capture the attention of people my age. Think about all the different ways we spend our time now than we did at thirty! Let’s see now, what did I do this week? I spent quality time with my parents, I had grown-up conversations with my kids and watched them make positive choices, I was cured of cancer, I celebrated a 21st birthday for my son, prepared for my niece's wedding, went swimming, blogged, took pictures, dined out with my family and did I mention I was cured of cancer? Yep. It took a whole 15 minutes and didn’t hurt a bit. No radiation and no chemo. My dentist was a lot rougher on me the week before. No, I am not kidding.

One of the most common forms of cancer is skin cancer. There are three basic types of skin cancer, though each type has sub-types. I had basal cell carcinoma which is unlikely to metastasize or prove fatal but still requires treatment to prevent further damage and spreading of the cancer to nearby skin cells. Seventy-five percent of all skin cancers fall into this category. Squamous cell carcinoma is less common but can also be treated very effectively if found early. Melanoma is the rarest form of skin cancer but is also the most serious. It may require more involved treatment than the simple procedure I had done in the office.

The thing is, we fair skinned folks who burn or freckle easily are more at risk to develop skin cancer. Early detection and treatment are very important to successful outcomes. I know that we Baby Boomers were far less rigorous with sun screen application and were far more interested in seeking to be the tannest and the coolest people at the pool or beach. If you are like me, you could only hope that the fake tan creams didn’t rub off on your clothing or stain your palms a tell-tale orange. You know who are. Ha! And to think I was only worried about wrinkles and age spots! Nowadays, I just worry that I apply the SPF 50 evenly so I don't have funny swipe marks or words like "Wash Me" or "Your Add Here" tanned in to my back.

I will recommend this: Go to a dermatologist and get checked out. It is quick and painless. It is a good idea to have someone who knows what to look for check you out. These things can look a lot of different ways. Skin cancer might not look like much of anything to the untrained eye. Besides, you can’t really look at your own back. I keep telling you that mid-life is an adventure. Here are some general information links:

http://www.mskcc.org/mskcc/html/420.cfm

http://www.cancer.gov/cancer_information/cancer_type/skin/

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/skin_cancer/article_em.htm

How to Mosey and Take Life Slowly

2008-07-23T13:32:00.005-04:00

My middle age adventure saga continues with a walk on the s-l-o-w side. My pictures of some local road side wildflowers are posted to get the reader in the correct frame of mind for the adventure.

The other day, I joked with the manager of a local business about the heat and humidity of July being a good excuse to develop the fine art of mosey-ing. He laughed and said it should be a new sport. I said it could be the next demonstration sport of the Olympics.

My parents would become highly sought after coaches for those seeking a gold medal. I am blessed to have both of my parents still living in their own home and my siblings and I are happy to help them out as they face issues of declining health and mobility. It’s just that a sense of humor helps. I have found that the mosey mentality is the perfect mind set to approach any activities that involve them from doctor visits to shopping to, well, more doctor visits. The slower one expects to go the better and the more likely that one will meet one's expectations!

My adventure in the fine art/future Olympic sport of mosey-ing begins with a simple shopping excursion. My niece’s impending wedding requires us all to purchase expensive finery under the common ruse that we will be able to wear it again sometime. To that end, I took my parents, both in their late 70’s, shopping. If any of you are screen writers for a comedy series, feel free to use the following material. You can’t make this stuff up.

Last week, I took my parents to lunch and out to purchase a suit for my dad. I’ll skip the part about how they decided to travel light and share one walker to get into the restaurant and skip to the end. In a quick world, the waitress brought the check well before we were finished, rushed off to do other thingsand did not return to meet our needs like telling us where they put the walker or offer the boxes for the left overs. Eventually, we flagged her down. My parents, being elderly, did not eat anywhere near all of the food provided with the order. This necessitated using the little white boxes to save the extra food and a trip back to the house after lunch so I could store the food in their refrigerator since it wouldn’t last in the hot car while we shopped. Two hours after I picked them up, we arrived at the suit shop.

While my parents both walk very slowly these days, my dad is so slow that he is nearly a cartoon character. Having taken him to the grocery in the past, I know from experience that I could quite literally do most of the shopping before he gets down the first aisle. Instead, I used the time to visit with him with shopping as just an excuse. This time, we park very close to the store entrance and make our way with the assistance of strangers who gallantly assist us by holding doors. There are two parents, two sets of doors, two walkers and one me.

The scene in the store has two clerks measuring and fussing over my seated father. It seems they can not order the suit he wants in a size that is small enough in the shoulders. The man who was once strong enough to be tackled by five very young children at once when he walked through the door after work and still walk with a child attached to each leg, has shrunk. My mother is seated behind him and offers her advice even though she has trouble hearing the conversation with the clerks. Ironically, there is a well known local news personality in the store shopping at the same time. He looks picture perfect and is one of those people who never has a hair not invisibly glued in place. He is in excellent physical shape, is tan and his face matches his clothes in uniform, wrinkle free smoothness. It is a comical contrast to my father with his baggy clothes, age spots, mussed hair and unruly eyebrows. I guess I won’t go into the part about the braless sales lady in a peasant top who flashed us every time she bent over to measure my seated father. He was looking the other way and didn’t notice. Neither did my mom. Thank goodness! I managed to convince my dad to select a tie that was better looking than his original choice. Oh, my niece SO owes me. Ha!

This week, it was my mother’s turn to shop. She answers the door when I arrive because the front door was locked. She walks back into the den, takes off her soft, cervical collar that supports her neck and tells me she is worn out from answering the door and has to rest before we leave to shop. I oblige and listen while she tells me all about the life of a political candidate that she thinks is a nice guy but has no intention of voting for. After about 10 minutes, I encourage her to put her collar on so we can get on to the task at hand. I know I am in trouble when she mentions that there are a couple of “quick” errands she wants to run while we are out. The first one involves dropping off a urine sample from my father at the local medical laboratory. “Don’t worry, you just walk in and drop it off. They already have the paperwork.” she says. When I arrive, I find that I have to sign-in and wait just as if I am a patient having lab work done. Another woman who only has a form to drop off is put through the same ordeal. Twenty-five minutes later, we are on our way. This time we go to the bank. “There’s the ATM machine on the wall so pull up in that lane.” she says. After I do as she directs, she asks me to hand her the plastic tube. *sigh*. I grin but to my credit I don’t laugh and drive into the lane with the tube system. Finally we arrive at the mall. I am driving my parents mini-van that is adapted to transport her scooter chair. The unloading of this mechanical monstrosity is anything but smooth. Somehow, we manage to unload it without damaging the car or ourselves in the process. Shopping now? No. My mother is diabetic so it is time for us to get lunch. After lunch, the shopping goes quickly and smoothly, except for the part where I come back from running another errand for her because she doesn’t want to take the time to get on the elevator again and find that she has dropped her wallet in the isle and has no idea that she has even lost it. If you thought that re-loading the scooter as we left went more smoothly, you would of course be mistaken.

If I had not been through this adventure, I wouldn’t have believed it! I have a new appreciation for my brother and sister, who live with my parents and regularly assist them with housework, yard work, laundry, grocery shopping, hair appointments and doctor visits. My mother has only recently quit driving so I will be needed a bit more often. I enjoy my parents’ company and I will be only too happy to do it. It’s just that the only thing fast about them is the rate of their declining mobility. It is I who must be quick to adjust. I need that patience and sense of humor and to take my daughter along sometimes so she will know how to do it when I am the one with declining mobility. I hope she has a sense of humor. I hope she learns how to mosey.

The Beauty of Ordinary Things

2008-06-27T17:47:00.004-04:00

Finding the Beauty in Ordinary Things.

I think sometimes we go about our lives and do not stop to see the beauty in the very ordinary things around us. I took a few pictures near my home. These are scenes that one can easily miss. These were taken on some rural routes where one would not ordinarily stop to take pictures. Usually, I fly so quickly down the road that a few seconds of time equals many feet of travel and the glimpses of what might make a nice photo are quickly lost behind a hillock or a row of honeysuckle bushes. It can be difficult to take these pictures because the roads do not offer wide shoulders for a driver to pull over in order to take pictures. I wish I were better able to catch the colors and the full panorama of the scenes. I have experimented with the settings on my digital camera to bring just a few of these over looked glimpses of rural glory among the ordinary buildings, utility wires and everyday clutter. Some of them were taken early in the morning while most of us are usually sleeping. I have taken a lot of photographs in the last few years. These are among the least striking of my pictures and yet they also have a kind of beauty. I think this is how my husband found me, too. I am not a model or a prom queen. I am very much the girl next door yet my husband seems to have found me to be pleasing in some way. Even the most ordinary sights can have their beauty in the right light.

All Photos by China Pattern; all rights reserved:

And just for fun, I couldn’t resist this beautiful sight either:

Memory Card Almost Full

2008-06-07T08:39:00.018-04:00

In May, my daughter graduated from my Alma Mater, Miami University, in Oxford, Ohio. It is one of the most beautiful, story book campuses in America. It is a veritable "Kodak Moment" heaven, so much so that on one of my trips to the campus, I intended to stay and walk around just for the purpose of taking pictures.

It is also imbued with layer upon layer of memories for both of us. When I visit the campus, I am reminded of so many memories of way back when. I attended in the mid-seventies just as the war in Viet Nam was starting to wind down, the Red's won the World Series, sun dresses were "in" and The Beatles, The Eagles and Louden Wainwright were my favorite musicians. It was legal to drink beer at 18. My sorority won the phone booth stuffing contest and streaking was a regular event. My daughter has her own set of memories. We laugh when those memories collide. Her freshman year, both she and her friends seemed impressed that I knew the locations and histories of the various fraternity houses. However, the rolling of eyes told me that I should curtail my historical monologues on various uptown businesses and other campus related memories. The changing of the guard from student to alum status was brought home to us both one day not long ago. I attended a "grad-fest" with her in order to help make (and pay for) graduation related items such as diploma mount, announcements, cap and gown, etc. As we walked down a recently re poured concrete sidewalk, I commented to her about the changes in the campus in terms of new construction versus how it looked in my day. As we walked to the "grad-fest" location, we passed our replacements coming up the walk. A group of potential freshmen and their parents passed us on a campus tour. It was the perfect punctuation to the end of this paragraph in my daughter's life.

The day of graduation was one of the loveliest days of the year. As we drove in to the campus, we noticed one of the many flower beds bursting with tulips. I meant to snap a picture of it later. Of course graduation was a sunny day in the low seventies with fragrant spring flowers wafting from the yards as we walked from her apartment to the main commencement ceremony.

I share now a few snapshots of a different sort. The commencement ceremony was in an outdoor stadium. The ceremony was long, but not without it's lighter moments. As the graduates walked in and filled the seats on the turf below, more than one parent laughed and commented on the fact that every single one of the graduates, upon reaching their seat, turned to find their parents in the stadium, each with a cell-phone stuck to their heads and the parents answering the call, hoping to locate their son or daughter in the sea of black robes and mortar boards. Even with our daughter's particular set of colorful honors cords and travel abroad sash, she was difficult to locate in a group of thousands. We actually spent a while waving at the wrong kid who we thought was waving back! Ha! Sometimes students are clever at making themselves visible to their parents. The stand-out success for this ceremony was "green feather guy". Everyone could easily see this bright green feather sticking boldly up from his mortar board. He appears on the university's web site photos of the ceremony. The speaker was Robin Roberts of ABC's Good Morning America. Her speech was funny, instructive and well received. At an appropriately light hearted moment in the ceremony, we noticed some students from the College of Arts and Sciences section doing the wave. The crowd laughed. We later learned that our daughter's row mates were the instigators of this. Ha! There is one other funny little story. Our daughter tells us that she was asked by someone, possibly one of the professional photographers hired to take pictures of the graduates shaking hands with the dean to: "say your name in to the microphone". It wasn't being announced publicly and my daughter said she thought it was some sort of sound check. Our cum laude graduate said: "your name" into the mic. LOL. I don't feel too bad. A friend of ours reports that at her own graduation from a different school that a young lady questioned her about why so many people had the last name of cum laude. Our friend replied that she didn't know but that was her last name, too! LOL.

A very touching moment came at the end of the ceremony. The graduation concludes with the commissioning of the ROTC cadets in to their various branches of the service. These students assist with graduation by leading the sections of students in to the arena and attend the graduation in full military dress. As the commissioning of the students concluded, the entire black gowned student body jumped to their feet and applauded in such perfect unison that it was as if they were on a timer. The parents were rising to applaud as well but the show of support from their fellow students was instantaneous, moving and sincere. I will never forget that moment.

After a ceremony later that evening for just her college division, my husband and son returned home. I stayed with my daughter in her apartment that night. We went uptown with her friends and other parents for a lovely social evening out and I was delighted to learn that I liked her friends. It says something about her. It was a strange experience to be back in one of the old haunts from MY college days with a pitcher of beer on the table. I made VERY sure to behave myself like a proper mom. One of the proudest moments of my life came earlier this year when my daughter looked at me and said: "Thank-you for being the person you are." Her friend's mother had come to visit and gone uptown with the girls. She came back to the apartment quite drunk and proceeded to have a melodramatic row with her daughter while trying to use my daughter as a the intermediary between the woman and her daughter. I wasn't there at the time. My daughter has jokingly referred to me as a professional mom because I am there when she needs help to move in or out or when some crisis arises. I do not need to relive my youth in a college town bar but I did enjoy visiting with some very nice young adults. This also was a graduation of sorts. We socialized as adults. I also was amazed that I could still stay awake until 3:00 A.M.

The next morning, I helped her conduct the sad business of moving out of her apartment and leaving campus for the last time. I was the parent who had lived through this myself and could understand her feelings and emotions. She was teary for the separation from her independent life as she returned home temporarily until she finds that first job. She will miss her friends as they go about the rest of their lives. She even cried a tear or two over the loss of a very small and sparkly stud in her nose. She removed it to give herself a more business-like appearance in the job market. Well, that and the fact that it had become infected, as we had we had parentally prophesied. My job was to reassure her that the anxiety of the transition period was normal but temporary and that a great new adventure awaits.

As we drove out of Oxford the day after the ceremony, we passed the tulip bed that I mentioned earlier. I remembered the day I had come to take pictures of the campus a couple of years earlier. I lost out on the opportunity because my camera's memory card was almost full. I could only snap a couple of shots. For my daughter, the sadness came because the memory card of her college days was almost full as we rounded the tulip garden and headed for the future.